Soothing My Soul

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Music soothes my soul.  It doesn’t matter the type of music.  Whether it is the hard rock of Seether or the angry sounds of Korn.  On some days it is the relaxing calm of Enya, Pachelbel, or Vivaldi.  The carefree rock of the 50’s helps me to sing and drive.  I love to go back in time with Journey, Styx, or Queen.  Sometimes I want to relive a favorite movie so a soundtrack will do.  Dancing always needs a fast beat.  I can find energy in Christian Rock, Jazz and Pop Rock.  I will get a song in my head and sing it all day.  I attend concerts as often as I can.  When I am in church I gleefully “make a joyful noise unto my Lord”.

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The advent of easily owning thousands of tracks from my playlists is a dream come true.  I remember Saturdays spent at Twisters Music store combing through hundreds of albums searching for the perfect cassette to buy with my limited allowance money.  Records, 8-tracks, cassettes, CD’s, all littering my life.  Record players of my childhood playing exquisite sounds.  8-track player in my friend’s car.  Cassette player in my “newer than his” car (A.K.A bragging rights).  CD’s stacked high in my first apartment.  My adult self spending Saturdays, again combing through thousands of used record albums no one wanted cluttering their houses.  Now MP3 players, iPods, phones, computers, all containing thousands of titles.  Music at my fingertips.

Music soothes my soul with every note, cadence, refrain, verse.  Thank you to all the musicians who grace our world with their talent.  

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Ashes To Ashes

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“The ashes on my forehead do not represent my wrongness.  They represent His rightness.”-KR

In all my years wandering on this planet, I have never understood a person’s ability to say they are not spiritual.  The encounters with stubborn atheists and fanatical ‘bible thumpers’ all revolve around one central issue, our souls.  The mysterious part of us that makes us…us.  It drives who we are, who we choose to be, and who we will become.  Our soul is a very broad term, which truly encapsulates, how a person views themselves.  Yet, how can a living, breathing, person not be spiritual.  We all have a soul and that soul is what makes us a spiritual being.

On this reverent day in the church year, we remember we were dust and to dust we shall return.  I will attend church with my boys this evening to have those words spoken over each of us.  It helps me to remember we are a fleeting glimpse out the window of the universe’s travels.  My spiritual/soulful self will embrace that reminder, again.

May you find peace in your soul, love in your heart and a joyful spirit that embraces your own spirituality.

Travel well my friends.

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Embrace Love

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Love is the greatest gift of all.  It takes us places in our hearts, it touches our souls and reminds us how our body and mind can fool each other.  Love wraps us in a warm cocoon of safety.  So whether it is a love between parent and child, or an all encompassing love between lovers, be sure you embrace love.  Embrace the security, and happiness that reside with love.

Travel well friends. 

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Secret Getaways

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Take me away to a snow filled place

Just you and I

Where the cold welcomes me

My breath freezes on the wind

It is my dream to sleep beneath

the stars with snow all around

A magical place of snow and ice

You are my warmth, my shelter

I want to wake to the sunrise

surrounded by a sea of white

Just you and I

Your arms encircle me

We are alone in the snowy land

I find peace in the icy quiet

Noises muted on the snow covered world

Crystals shimmer like the dust from a fairy

No tropical masses

No sun drenched beach

Just you and I beneath the stars

Snuggled in out of the cold

with soft blankets and each other

Just you and I

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Anticipation

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We live in a world of instant gratification.  Our documents can be received in the blink of an eye.  We are able to call anyone, anywhere, anytime, we choose.  News travels at the speed of light.  What happens when we stop to truly wait for something?

Wait for it….

Are you still with me?….

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Finally the moment arrives!  The anticipation of an event bursts into reality.  Like bubbles floating on the wind, bursting at the slightest touch of a blade of grass.  The wait is over!

The past few months have been an epic marathon of anticipation for me.  I had to wait for my favorite holiday.  Then I had to wait again for another.  Christmas couldn’t get here soon enough.  The celebrations of birthdays stood patiently in line waiting to be noticed. Snowfall in my region was waited on by me (alone, I think).  2015 couldn’t get here soon enough.  I happily ushered out 2014 and embraced the start of a new year!  With all the activity around me I have not been on a roadtrip in a while.

My anticipation is nearing it’s end!  I leave in just a few short hours on my first family roadtrip of 2015!  I love traveling in the winter.  The cool crisp air is refreshing when you step out of your vehicle, for a much needed stretch.  Traffic is lessened by the absent vacationers.  The scenery is clear, vistas are not hampered by foliage.  I feel free!

As I gather all the added essentials for our winter excursion, I feel warm.  The cozy moments gathered with loved ones feel….warmer.  The warm splash of an indoor swimming pool, while you look out the huge picture windows at snow drifts, feels warmly refreshing. The smiles of the kiddos warm your heart and soul.  The wind will howl.  The snow may fall. The winter weather will continue to slow travel plans.  Yet it is the anticipation of this winter roadtrip that makes all the extras worth it.

Travel well my friends!

The Tunnel

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Our hearts are naturally inclined to love.  Our environments then shape the love that we share and nurture with others.

This is my souls intense belief.

What we each choose to do with our existences are our choices and our choices alone. Circumstances will influence our choices but ultimately it is our decision.

I started my day just like most days, groggily rolling out of bed, preparing for the day. Throughout my routine I usually take the time to check in on my Facebook account. Today I found on my news feed an individual, in a group, requesting help to locate a divorce attorney.  I, out of curiosity, started to scroll through the responses and comments.  I found many positive comments for one representative or another then I saw a trend that directly hit a nerve with me personally.  I disconnected from all the calm, kind, loving tendencies I have and went straight to righteous, indignation!  I posted.  I responded.  Then I paused.  I believe my writings were justified and I stand behind my comments but I had to stop following the post.

My wounds from my past experiences were too raw for me to continue, the onslaught of trauma from the past year too intense.  Divorce is a horrible journey.  No matter if it is “amicable” or hostile, and everything in between.  Lives are in transition.  Not just the lives of the two people ending their commitment to each other but also the community around, what was a happy couple.

I have a difficult time embracing anyone seemingly gaining from such an experience.  And yet, as a society we pour millions of dollars into the pockets of attorneys who honestly don’t care one way or the other if the course of action they are about to perform will enhance another’s heart in love.  I do not know of any divorce attorney who can truthfully say they are 100% proud of every divorce that they have managed, yet the check came to them anyway.

This blog is coming today from a place in my heart that appears like the golden lines of Kintsugi.  I am stronger, and more beautiful than my pre-divorce years.  I counsel loved ones through this long dark tunnel of divorce.  That light at the end of this tunnel is not an oncoming train but the resilient glow of gold shining in all the broken places of your heart as you heal.  This “tunnel”, not of love, but divorce, is dark and uncertain.  There is always light at the end of it, guided by love.

Listen

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Do you hear a voice? 

Not the radio

Not the TV

Not the endless yammering of the city

Do you hear a voice?

The voice of the loved one who needs you but isn’t sure how to ask.  The small melodic voice of a child asking the same question over and over again. The droning voice of your boss reviewing quarterly statements with you. The authoritative voice of an administrator admonishing something you love. The seductive voice of your lover calling you back to bed.  The prayerful voice of your soul reaching out to the silence in your heart.

Listen to the voices that speak to you. Listen with a fervor to hear what another is really saying. Take the time to stop, listen and respond if needed. Only when we truly listen do we truly hear what our hearts want.

Where The Birds Glide

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It is nothing short of a miracle to witness the lightening of a loved one’s soul. You see pain etched on the lines of their face. The light in their eyes is dimmed. Their shoulders carry an invisible weight only they can feel. Then, slowly, gently or sometimes all at once, their burdens dissapate. The shoulders that were drooped, are lifted. Their eyes glimmer with love and mischief like you remember. The lines on their face are softened to better represent the soul you love.

I traveled yesterday to The Holy Family Shrine in Nebraska. This was my second journey to this site. In the early spring this year I ventured there with a tour group. I loved the serenity it inspired in me. I wanted to linger. I desired a sanctuary where my heart could heal. I yearned for peace in my soul, even if it was just little bandages holding it together for a few more months. My overall impression was pure love.

As I stood in the chapel overlooking the Nebraska prairie, watching vehicles dashing back and forth on the six lane interstate, I began reflecting on my own soulful journey to this moment from the last time I stood in this place. I am stronger than I believe, I am the beckoning light for others, I am gracefulness emboldened. I stood a little straighter, glanced to my beloved traveling partner and said a silent prayer for her continued strength. Her inner light is back, full of promise and determination, just like always.

We stood together watching the birds outside, gliding on the blustery winter winds. Hovering, dipping, soaring, twirling, appearing to have no reason for their flight except pure joy. Taking the wind and making a playground for themselves. As I moved out the doors of the chapel, I pulled my coat tighter around me against the gales and glanced back one last time at the feathered campions of our visit, they continued their joyous arial acrobatics, using what they were given for happiness not sorrow.

Travel well my friends.