The Tunnel

2014-05-19 14.36.17

Our hearts are naturally inclined to love.  Our environments then shape the love that we share and nurture with others.

This is my souls intense belief.

What we each choose to do with our existences are our choices and our choices alone. Circumstances will influence our choices but ultimately it is our decision.

I started my day just like most days, groggily rolling out of bed, preparing for the day. Throughout my routine I usually take the time to check in on my Facebook account. Today I found on my news feed an individual, in a group, requesting help to locate a divorce attorney.  I, out of curiosity, started to scroll through the responses and comments.  I found many positive comments for one representative or another then I saw a trend that directly hit a nerve with me personally.  I disconnected from all the calm, kind, loving tendencies I have and went straight to righteous, indignation!  I posted.  I responded.  Then I paused.  I believe my writings were justified and I stand behind my comments but I had to stop following the post.

My wounds from my past experiences were too raw for me to continue, the onslaught of trauma from the past year too intense.  Divorce is a horrible journey.  No matter if it is “amicable” or hostile, and everything in between.  Lives are in transition.  Not just the lives of the two people ending their commitment to each other but also the community around, what was a happy couple.

I have a difficult time embracing anyone seemingly gaining from such an experience.  And yet, as a society we pour millions of dollars into the pockets of attorneys who honestly don’t care one way or the other if the course of action they are about to perform will enhance another’s heart in love.  I do not know of any divorce attorney who can truthfully say they are 100% proud of every divorce that they have managed, yet the check came to them anyway.

This blog is coming today from a place in my heart that appears like the golden lines of Kintsugi.  I am stronger, and more beautiful than my pre-divorce years.  I counsel loved ones through this long dark tunnel of divorce.  That light at the end of this tunnel is not an oncoming train but the resilient glow of gold shining in all the broken places of your heart as you heal.  This “tunnel”, not of love, but divorce, is dark and uncertain.  There is always light at the end of it, guided by love.

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