Why Did You Leave?

evergreenflowers

Loss is an all-encompassing feeling.  It washes over you like a tidal wave with no end in sight.  The air you breathe feels heavy in your lungs.  Your vision is blurred by the motion around you.  You can’t seem to function in your normal capacity.  And yet, time moves on.  The life you live keeps pushing you to join back in with all you know is familiar.  You are grieving.  You do not have time, or desire to “join in”.  You do not want to move away from the cocoon of grief.  Your loss is your own and at times it feels safe.  Others may be grieving with you.  It is not the same as your grief.  You lean, cry, hold, soothe these other mourners but it is not the same as your own small world of sorrow.

At some point in this sadness you turn to questions of, why?  Why did you leave me?  Why can’t you stay with me?  Why is this happening?

All of those questions are valid and need to be answered for yourself.  No one can answer them for you.  In all my moments of sorrow when I lost someone I loved to either by death or separation, I have always found someone that I can turn to for support.  They may have been grieving with me but in a moment they were just a little stronger than I was and they held me up.  My prayers were a steady stream of pleas to give me strength.  I found my conversations with God to be a lifeline of hope when my heart was shattered.  I allow the loss to seep into my soul and hollow out a niche for itself.  Then when it is time I fill the void that was sadness with joy.  I acquire all the loving kindness we shared and let those memories envelope my soul with happiness.

May the comfort of your faith, friends, family and fellowship carry you through the loss you experience.  May you find joy in the life you live and know that you will always have someone just a little stronger to hold you up when you need them.

Peace Be With You.

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