My life has been filled with highs and lows, like most lives, I am sure.  I have experienced the joy of horseback riding at dawn, cold spring water on my naked toes, my children’s radiant smiles, candlelit Christmas Eve services, so many moments of pure happiness.  I have endured times of great sorrow that darken my heart and leave me feeling empty.  When I think back on the life I have lived I am grateful for all of the highs and lows.

I recently have been pondering what defines my happiness.  I will think on the joyous times in my life, wondering how I was so lucky to have been blessed with such bliss.  Remembering events and occasions that put a smile on my face.  Everything, from watching a serene moonrise in the country to the births of my sons.  Joy I couldn’t duplicate if I tried.  Don’t get me wrong I am not a happy-go-lucky all the time kind of gal.  In fact, I sometimes struggle with my own personal positivity, trying to remain happy.  I have been looking back at my short existence on this planet, thinking what things help me to be happy. 

I have never thought to put a price tag on happiness.  I believe your monetary status does not define how happy you are or are not.  Yet, if I want to be perfectly honest with myself, it does.  I am not interested in buying the latest gadget or fancy vase for my home.  I do not acquire stuff just to fill the void of sadness.  I do however know many of my happy memories were purchased.  The value of a tank of gas, and a tent.  The reliable car to put the tent and gas in.  The financial ability to purchase food, a map, and incidentals for a weekend road trip.  A weekend away with the man I love creating our own memories required money. Even if the monetary contribution is minimal it is still required to some extent.  Why haven’t I traveled to every corner of the world?  Not enough money.

My memories of happiness are not returnable.  I have purchased them.  They are mine.  Money did not always purchase them because my happiness is strictly dependent on my attitude.  Money helped to purchase situations and events, so in a way I purchased memories.